Tea over Café

” My God, I have never thanked Thee for my thorn. I have Thanked Thee a thousand times for my roses, but not once for my thorn. I have been looking forward to a world where I shall get compensation for my cross; but I have never thought of my cross as itself a present glory. Teach me the glory of my cross; teach me the value of my thorn. Show me that I have climbed to Thee by the path of pain. Show me that my tears have made my rainbows. Reveal to me that my strength was the product of that hour when I wrestled until the breaking of the day. Then shall I know that my thorn was blessed by Thee, then shall I know that my cross was a gift from Thee, and I shall raise a monument to the hour of my sorrow, and the words which I shall write up it will be these: “It was good for me to have been afflicted.” – George Matheson

I must say have never cared for flowers, especially roses. Whenever it’s my birthday or Mother’s Day, it’s pretty well known amongst my inner circle please don’t send me roses. I am not sure when my disdain for them began. Could be my allergies. My lack of patience. Their, in my opinion, overrated aroma. My lack of interest in owning a real broom and dust pan which is needed to sweep up their remnants. Ive always get a strange satisfaction watching Morticia Addams snip heads of roses. Odd I know. With that being said, they are beautiful. I can not deny their beauty. I send them as gifts of course, as my mother loves to receive them and is patient and caring with them. When I don’t feel like my words of comfort are good enough for someone I care about, I send roses as I understand how beautiful and comforting they are.

Many, many decades ago a classmate of mine brought his guitar to drama class and sang “Every Rose Has Its Thorn”. Of course, I had heard the song here and there flipping through the radio, and watching Rock of Love on VH1, however that day when he sang the song, mainly the chorus, those words stuck with me. What an interesting yet honest take on some many aspects of life. Family, friendship, love, school, hobbies, etc. It wasn’t until recently that I came across George Matheson’s quote that it made me compare it to my walk with the Lord. I am constantly thanking the Lord for all my roses however I have not thanked the Lord for my thorns. Without the valleys, there are no mountains. Without the rain, there is no rainbow. Without bitter, there is no sweet.

Thanking thee for our thorn or thorns is not easy or at least not for me. I greatly appreciate pastors/spiritual leaders who speak and preach on that. I find at times, most not all leaders preach for us to ignore our pain and anger. So many criticize Job’s wife, but I can understand her anger and heartache initially. I do not thank thee for my thorns initially. When I was laid off from my job during covid, I was not thankful. When my paid off car didn’t start again, I was not thankful. When my routine surgery became not so routine, I was not thankful. When the man I loved walked out of my life for good, I was not thankful. God gave us a flesh, mind, feelings. I believe if He intended for us to be robots, He would have done so. I allow anger and sadness to visit but I do not allow it to stay. Am I guilty of allowing it stay longer than it should at times, absolutely. Grace. Grace. Grace. Grace. Grace. Grace. Grace. My thorns I now use to help others and remind myself of how much He trusts me. For example, prior to my surgery, anxiety and PTSD were foreign concepts to me. Heard of them, thought the terms were being abused and exaggerated by some for attention. Now I understand. I know what it feels like to not be able to verbalize a sentence as the words are trying to coming out. Shaking of the hands as you attempt to put on clothes as you have to leave the house to go to up the street but not able to due to crowds. When I hear of others struggling, I give them my utmost empathy and make sure others do as well as it’s a daily suffering a lot of people have and one that I still have years later.

The Father has given me both my roses and my thorns as He trusts me. I will do my best to continue to thank Him not only for my roses but also for my thorns.

~ ST